her letter

the day after my mother died i was looking for pictures of her. for whatever reason i opened her jewelry box and i found an envelope addressed to herself. i decided to open it, thinking i would find a letter she had written to herself. instead i found a letter written to me.
i sat on her bed, where i had laid with her as she died less than 24 hours prior, tears streaming down my face as i read the most beautiful letter. she wrote in 1998. when i think back to our life then i cannot find a reason for her to write this letter. but i know my mom, and i am sure she just felt inspired, so she sat down to write. when i read it i have to believe that she knew she would leave life early. she knew i would need this letter.
when i miss her most i think of the last paragraph.

"There is so much more I could say, but it would never approximate the love and gratitude I have for you choosing me to be your mother. I have given you what I have known to give. There is so much more I would have liked to give you. If you are reading this I may be gone. I would not have wanted to leave without some attempt at expressing my love for you. You have been a treasure to me. It is you who have made my life meaningful. I know you will self-actualize, as you are every moment. You will carry my love with you, knowing that when I leave it is time, it is meant to be. My job is complete here. But always remember that I will be with you and find joy and peace in that. Let every sunset, every rainbow, every moon lit night, every blooming flower, every singing bird remind you of my love, not to sadden but to fill you with a sense of love. Know that I am at peace, in a glorious place awaiting our reunion."