i just woke up from a dream. i was in pipers room, standing in front of her crib casually talking to my grandmother. and then i realized that i was talking to my grandmother and i grabbed her and held her tight. i was so happy to be with her. my mom was there too, but i could not see her. and i remember thinking that it made sense that i could see granny and not my mom. as i recall it it feels very real. i could feel my grandmothers body structure, her shoulder blades, as they really felt in life. i have not dreamed of her much since she died.
it has been a remarkable year. i was pregnant by august. my grandmother died in september. my mom died in april. i had piper in may. my family was a matriarchy. i became the top of the line overnight. a single exchange. my mother left and in came my daughter.
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